City Slicker
Picture it, Sicily 1912. As my family were up here recently they informed me that the 4WD tracks were now open in the Litchfield National Park. So as any good surfer knows, when the cyclone swell is pumping, it calls for a sick day, hence my sick day to go 4WDing in the national park. Call a mate and arrange to pick her up and take her out for some RnR. This mate is a City Slicker that is use to council buses, fumes, sky scrapers and the like that are featured in cities of Sydney’s stature. As good as she is, she packs a lunch for us and also packs her dog for the trip. Now this dog is a small dog, you know one that you have to bend over to pat – not really my type of dog – from now on in this dog that belongs to City Slicker will be known as “Slipper”. Tonka is packed and fueled up, the 3 of us in the cab together (Tonka is a 2 seater ute cab). We set off on the proviso that City Slicker wants to get rocks for her garden – there is enough rocks in her head to fill a disused quarry as you can not steal stuff from a national park – I smile and nod my head with no intention to get rocks at all. We just get into the national park when we have to stop for the Slipper to pee. Great. The thing runs out in front of a car – not any old car – but a ranger’s car. Quick talking gets me out of a $130 fine for domestic pets in a national park. The ranger was kind enough to guide me to the place that I had full intentions of going – off the beaten track.
We hit the track, I look to the co pilot and instruct her to get out and lock the hubs – blank expression from City Slicker saw me get out and lock the hubs. How fantastic is this, my fist time 4WDing in Tonka. Slipper is in his element, bouncing around the cab, and still had its leash attached to its collar. On a single vehicle track we hit sand, trees and oh to my delight a water crossing. This water crossing had a depth gauge, only ½ a metre deep – barely anything to wet my tyers – the water was crystal clear and I could see the whole crossing – I looked at City Slicker to instruct her to walk the crossing – very important thing when doing a water crossing – but short term memory of her previous blank expression resulted in me downing gears and attacking this crossing in first gear. It was great, what a water crossing. Steep decent into the water then a steep assent out of the water. Tonka is in its element. So stoked that all of us were from this experience I spot a lovely smallish jump after the assent and still in first gear, I give it a little. 3. 2. 1. Big Bump………. And then there were only 2 left in the cab……. We got air! It was great, big smile on my face and what I thought were delight screams coming from City Slicker, then the quick realization that there are only now 2 of us in the cab, my launching the truck over the bump resulted in the truck launching Slipper out the window. City Slicker was holding onto the end of leash like she had a big barra attached to it. Screaming at me I locked up the breaks, jumped out of the cab and retrieved Slipper from its current hanging position on the exterior of the cab. Back in the car, everyone fine.
Now laughing at the near death experience and fear of copping a lecture for the rest of the day, I drove a little more cautiously. Found a nice spot to have lunch and let Slipper run around next to a small river. Walking along everything fine, Slipper in and out of the water – now looking like a drowned rat – we set up camp for a nice picnic lunch. Hearing a crackling noise, I do a quick wrecky of the site to spot an oncoming bush fire. Explaining this to City Slicker to have her reaction of – oh I just thought that was the sound of the water. When was the last time I ask you that you have heard water crackle…… really people. Keeping an eye on the fire and trying desperately to give well concealed full attention to the conversation, I spot the flames, smoke is now coming towards us. No real drama being so close to the river with the green flora, but my main concern was not for City Slicker or Slipper’s well being, but for my beloved Tonka. Inhaled what was remaining of my lunch to get back in the car. Ah, safety of the confides of the cab. But was it? Took off and made the executive decision to keep heading on the track that I was on. Bush fires are quite unpredictable and coming from a county area I know the full extremes of the severity that a wild bush fire can have. Caution to the wind – there was no wind – hence my decision to proceed down the track. Pass the fire of which now was only 10 metres from the other side of the river bank and keep heading home.
Mental note – when taking a City Slicker to the bush have some sort of knowledge of how little knowledge they have for the bush and its conditions. If you can make them watch Sale of the Century, Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune etc so that perhaps they can have a little bit more of a clue.
City Slicker and Slipper pleased with their excursion to the bush and 4WDing, slept in style on the way home in full air conditioned comfort.
This is Kim Dundee reporting from the territory
Post Script - City Slicker and Slipper were not hurt in the making of this story, but no doubt the author will cop some sort of barrage from them once they have finished reading it…..
We hit the track, I look to the co pilot and instruct her to get out and lock the hubs – blank expression from City Slicker saw me get out and lock the hubs. How fantastic is this, my fist time 4WDing in Tonka. Slipper is in his element, bouncing around the cab, and still had its leash attached to its collar. On a single vehicle track we hit sand, trees and oh to my delight a water crossing. This water crossing had a depth gauge, only ½ a metre deep – barely anything to wet my tyers – the water was crystal clear and I could see the whole crossing – I looked at City Slicker to instruct her to walk the crossing – very important thing when doing a water crossing – but short term memory of her previous blank expression resulted in me downing gears and attacking this crossing in first gear. It was great, what a water crossing. Steep decent into the water then a steep assent out of the water. Tonka is in its element. So stoked that all of us were from this experience I spot a lovely smallish jump after the assent and still in first gear, I give it a little. 3. 2. 1. Big Bump………. And then there were only 2 left in the cab……. We got air! It was great, big smile on my face and what I thought were delight screams coming from City Slicker, then the quick realization that there are only now 2 of us in the cab, my launching the truck over the bump resulted in the truck launching Slipper out the window. City Slicker was holding onto the end of leash like she had a big barra attached to it. Screaming at me I locked up the breaks, jumped out of the cab and retrieved Slipper from its current hanging position on the exterior of the cab. Back in the car, everyone fine.
Now laughing at the near death experience and fear of copping a lecture for the rest of the day, I drove a little more cautiously. Found a nice spot to have lunch and let Slipper run around next to a small river. Walking along everything fine, Slipper in and out of the water – now looking like a drowned rat – we set up camp for a nice picnic lunch. Hearing a crackling noise, I do a quick wrecky of the site to spot an oncoming bush fire. Explaining this to City Slicker to have her reaction of – oh I just thought that was the sound of the water. When was the last time I ask you that you have heard water crackle…… really people. Keeping an eye on the fire and trying desperately to give well concealed full attention to the conversation, I spot the flames, smoke is now coming towards us. No real drama being so close to the river with the green flora, but my main concern was not for City Slicker or Slipper’s well being, but for my beloved Tonka. Inhaled what was remaining of my lunch to get back in the car. Ah, safety of the confides of the cab. But was it? Took off and made the executive decision to keep heading on the track that I was on. Bush fires are quite unpredictable and coming from a county area I know the full extremes of the severity that a wild bush fire can have. Caution to the wind – there was no wind – hence my decision to proceed down the track. Pass the fire of which now was only 10 metres from the other side of the river bank and keep heading home.
Mental note – when taking a City Slicker to the bush have some sort of knowledge of how little knowledge they have for the bush and its conditions. If you can make them watch Sale of the Century, Who Wants to be a Millionaire, Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune etc so that perhaps they can have a little bit more of a clue.
City Slicker and Slipper pleased with their excursion to the bush and 4WDing, slept in style on the way home in full air conditioned comfort.
This is Kim Dundee reporting from the territory
Post Script - City Slicker and Slipper were not hurt in the making of this story, but no doubt the author will cop some sort of barrage from them once they have finished reading it…..
posted by Kim dundee at 1:11 PM
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