How to meet your mate

Picture it – Sicily 1912, Kim Dundee is at yet another ute competition held at the Fred’s Pass Rural Show. For those Brisbane ites – its like a mini Ekka. So the truck is sorted and clean - enough. The competition is increased from the Katherine Country Music Muster. Just standing around waiting for the judges to judge when I spot sexy *****(name ommited so you cant pay me out on my taste in girls) walking towards me. ***** is a sexy lesbian that I met when I first arrived to Darwin. She is old, but enough eye candy for me. Our eyes locked, she walks closer to me, I gave the “hi how you doing” smile and ever so charming grin with a small but distinguished head nod. I was all set to talk to her and do my wonders, when Mother Nature stopped by for a quick chat. Now the chat with Mother Nature was an interesting chat and was my first of that kind. The effects of the chat was long lasting and I still have the scars as I type today, which is nearly a week old. The Mother Nature chat was a chat that I could not ignore. It was a chat a bit like the Birds and Bees, except for the fact that it was 4 FUCKING WASPS that stung me! No not 1, but 4 of the fuckers. So my reaction was as distinguished that you know Kim Dundee could be. I jumped up and down, ran around, was like a drama queen on drugs, sought advice and reassurance from Andrew – of which all he could do was laugh. Sally passed me like 2 ships in the night – except one was sinking – painfully – that was me. I never saw her after that…..

Andrew who studies environmental science informs me that the wasps do not die after they sting me – where is the karma in that, I ask you.

After retelling this story with my mates in Darwin and waiting for what seemed an eternity for them to stop laughing at me – all they could say was “it wasn’t meant to be”. No you idiots not a bee.……. A BLOODY WASP!

This is Kim Dundee reporting from the territory

Post script
Oh and as if the wasps were not enough, I got second place in the best chicks ute and third in the best 4WD ute (issues on the 4WD ute competition as a Cruiser got second – it’s a Patrol thing)