Country
Picture it, Sicily 1916. Our plans for the long weekend took us to the Katherine Country Music Muster. Pre planning this event we entered my Truck into the “Beaut Ute” comp. An early start for Saturday morning saw me pick up my bud and headed off down the track to the show. Flogging it out on the open roads he subjected me to listen to country music - in my truck!!! That’s ok, must ease myself into these things. But still didn’t go well with the slight hangover that resulted from a funny Friday night that was mixed with drinking and “come fuck me boots” (that’s a whole different story).
Rock up in the pumping town of Katherine to find out it was bloody cold. Do you think I brought a jumper? I had enough trouble trying to find an outfit to go with country music, starting with my shoes – I should have gone naked as my whole entire shoe collection had nothing that resembled country music styles. But that was soon forgotten as I spotted a breakfast bbq. What a nice thing for my hangover. Hang over cured, I moved onto the Ute comp.
I entered Tonka into the best 4WD comp. Originally I had it entered into the best Chick Ute and 4WD Ute but could only enter one category. Now being out of the closet for some years now, I have seen some scary butch lesbians in my time but the chicks that entered their utes in the comp were interesting. True bush girls – diamonds in the rough. And some of their utes were very well decked out, but most of them could have done without all the Bundy rum and XXXX stickers. There were about 5 4WD entered all of which were Toyota’s (god invented Toyota’s so dickheads could go 4WDriving – my favorite sticker from the coast) and my lovely but dirty (killed my fair share of bugs on the dawn run down the track) Patrol. I WON. EAT SHIT TOYOTA’s (that last sentence was really butch of me hey). So my prize was a bottle of wine and $100 worth of engineering and welding from a company in Katherine. It cost me more than that in petrol getting down there and back. Looked at my boss, who was my cheer squad, he kept smiling at the prize – he can have it.
Now let me tell you about the bottle of wine. Had to pick it up from this caravan park – good start. I got to choose which one I wanted - improving, when the attendant directed me to the wine fridge and top shelf. Top shelf – impressive – until I rock up at the fridge and realized that there is only one bottle of wine to chose from and was located on the top shelf of the fridge………
Off now to the country music muster. Well what can I say about country music….. that at all resembles something positive……. Nope, nothing. Was subjected to songs about water and where you find water (will save you the details on that one) one about dung beetles, road train driver etc. are we getting the picture of how excited I was. There was a bar there but I was trying to go a day without drinking. Please all, learn from my mistake. If attending a country music muster – get pissed, so pissed that you see Slim Dusty – un dug……
Off camping we go. Camped at Edith falls again. Full house. Cold. Very romantic. Andrew and I looked at each other…nope nothing… then at the German tourists. Cant speak German so off on a walk to the pool we go for the sunset. Fed the barras with native frogs. Toads have reached there and even the eels were not touching them. How we found out that the fish like frogs is that one jumped on me, now being from QLD I thought it was a toad – not coping – I launched it, encompassed in a scream - into the water in total darkness to find a massive amount of commotion. We wiped out a small population of frogs that night.
Returned to camp for dinner when Andrew instructs me not to move. Come on Andrew, do you really think I was going to stay still knowing that there are toads around – not likely. When to my surprise a wallaby was finishing off my dinner. We both moved and I think one of us even had a bowel movement. Charging 300 I restarted my heart and stood on its tail.
Up the next day after freezing that night. Temp is really starting to fall now in the bush. I think it got as low as 20. Mental note, next time bring a hot chick for some warmth or learn how to speak German to pick up those very hot chicks camping near us. Was up early, well for me anyway as it was a Sunday morning (still surprises me that there is actually a morning to Sundays that doesn’t end with me slurring “see ya cabbie”). We headed off on the 8 km hike. My flu has not gone yet and the cold night had me in trouble doing the hike - sniffing all the way. At least Andrew knew where I was.
Traveled back to Darwin and Andrew fell asleep for most of it. Positive for country music, is that when a country music fan falls asleep on the drive back – CHANGE THE CD!
This is Kim Dundee reporting from the Territory
Disclaimer – my lovely country music fan Andrew was not hurt on this trip
Attachment – photo of me at the bar – my bull bar – of Tonka wishing the coke had been visited by my good old pal, Johnny Walker.
Rock up in the pumping town of Katherine to find out it was bloody cold. Do you think I brought a jumper? I had enough trouble trying to find an outfit to go with country music, starting with my shoes – I should have gone naked as my whole entire shoe collection had nothing that resembled country music styles. But that was soon forgotten as I spotted a breakfast bbq. What a nice thing for my hangover. Hang over cured, I moved onto the Ute comp.
I entered Tonka into the best 4WD comp. Originally I had it entered into the best Chick Ute and 4WD Ute but could only enter one category. Now being out of the closet for some years now, I have seen some scary butch lesbians in my time but the chicks that entered their utes in the comp were interesting. True bush girls – diamonds in the rough. And some of their utes were very well decked out, but most of them could have done without all the Bundy rum and XXXX stickers. There were about 5 4WD entered all of which were Toyota’s (god invented Toyota’s so dickheads could go 4WDriving – my favorite sticker from the coast) and my lovely but dirty (killed my fair share of bugs on the dawn run down the track) Patrol. I WON. EAT SHIT TOYOTA’s (that last sentence was really butch of me hey). So my prize was a bottle of wine and $100 worth of engineering and welding from a company in Katherine. It cost me more than that in petrol getting down there and back. Looked at my boss, who was my cheer squad, he kept smiling at the prize – he can have it.
Now let me tell you about the bottle of wine. Had to pick it up from this caravan park – good start. I got to choose which one I wanted - improving, when the attendant directed me to the wine fridge and top shelf. Top shelf – impressive – until I rock up at the fridge and realized that there is only one bottle of wine to chose from and was located on the top shelf of the fridge………
Off now to the country music muster. Well what can I say about country music….. that at all resembles something positive……. Nope, nothing. Was subjected to songs about water and where you find water (will save you the details on that one) one about dung beetles, road train driver etc. are we getting the picture of how excited I was. There was a bar there but I was trying to go a day without drinking. Please all, learn from my mistake. If attending a country music muster – get pissed, so pissed that you see Slim Dusty – un dug……
Off camping we go. Camped at Edith falls again. Full house. Cold. Very romantic. Andrew and I looked at each other…nope nothing… then at the German tourists. Cant speak German so off on a walk to the pool we go for the sunset. Fed the barras with native frogs. Toads have reached there and even the eels were not touching them. How we found out that the fish like frogs is that one jumped on me, now being from QLD I thought it was a toad – not coping – I launched it, encompassed in a scream - into the water in total darkness to find a massive amount of commotion. We wiped out a small population of frogs that night.
Returned to camp for dinner when Andrew instructs me not to move. Come on Andrew, do you really think I was going to stay still knowing that there are toads around – not likely. When to my surprise a wallaby was finishing off my dinner. We both moved and I think one of us even had a bowel movement. Charging 300 I restarted my heart and stood on its tail.
Up the next day after freezing that night. Temp is really starting to fall now in the bush. I think it got as low as 20. Mental note, next time bring a hot chick for some warmth or learn how to speak German to pick up those very hot chicks camping near us. Was up early, well for me anyway as it was a Sunday morning (still surprises me that there is actually a morning to Sundays that doesn’t end with me slurring “see ya cabbie”). We headed off on the 8 km hike. My flu has not gone yet and the cold night had me in trouble doing the hike - sniffing all the way. At least Andrew knew where I was.
Traveled back to Darwin and Andrew fell asleep for most of it. Positive for country music, is that when a country music fan falls asleep on the drive back – CHANGE THE CD!
This is Kim Dundee reporting from the Territory
Disclaimer – my lovely country music fan Andrew was not hurt on this trip
Attachment – photo of me at the bar – my bull bar – of Tonka wishing the coke had been visited by my good old pal, Johnny Walker.
posted by Kim dundee at 4:18 PM
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