Kim Duddee - Batteries Included
Picture it, Sicily 1913. I have finally taken a well deserved holiday. This holiday is right up my alley as its 3 weeks spent driving to the top of Australia.
Unfortunately my partner was unable to attend, so Kim Dundee is off, footloose and fancy free. Now as stated it was a driving holiday, destination - the top of the Australian Mainland, Cape York, Queensland. As I am positioned in the capital of the Northern Territory, I had to drive 2800klms to reach Cairns to meet up with the rest of the crew. Upon arrival in Cairns it seems that we have now lost one of the cars due to mechanical failure. Who is left, my sister, brother-in-law and 5 year old niece.
Now we have all be young at some stage of our lives so we know that traveling in a car on long distances and keeping your fluids up, you need to make those ever so crucial pee stops. Traveling with my 5 year old niece, we slowly made our way up the track as she quickly earned the name of “urinator” (this was given to her by her parents).
On one particular stop after coming close to rolling the car as I punched out one of my rear shocks getting air, miraculously at the bottom of a dip, the following has happened.
We have been traveling on the development road, which was in bad need of a grader. The corrugations were causing all some sort of discomfort, especially those in the 80 series behind Tonka. The radio call comes through, “mummy I need to pee”. Finding a safe spot to pull off we exit the car and wait for my brother-in-law to catch up. My sister was traveling with me at the time and upon exit of Tonka we could hear this noise. It was a moaning noise a bit like what a cow would sound like in labour. Mmmmooooaaaannnn, moan, moan, moan, mmmmooooaaaannnn...... So we did a quick wreckie of the site and couldn’t see anything.
Tim pulls up and the “urinator” marks her territory when I question Tim about the noise, of which now, as there are no cows to be seen, has to be some sort of vibration as a result of all the corrugations coming from my vehicle as I left it idling. We both inspected the vehicle and found nothing loose but the noise was still there. Mmmmooooaaaannnn, moan, moan, moan, mmmmooooaaaannnn..... What could this be? So we open the back of Tonka up and upon closer inspection found the noise to be coming from my space case (dust proof box containing all my food, clothes and spare parts). Mmmmooooaaaannnn, moan, moan, moan, mmmmooooaaaannnn...... Tim goes “it’s coming from your case, its right here in the corner. Do you have something in there?”. Mmmmooooaaaannnn, moan, moan, moan, mmmmooooaaaannnn....... At this point, everyone is close to my car. Quickly my memory returns. Mmmmooooaaaannnn, moan, moan, moan, mmmmooooaaaannnn.......
Now as stated earlier, I am in a new relationship so we are still enjoying the honeymoon period. So the tap is on – if you know what I mean. No water restrictions here. Can turn the tap on when ever I like or just leave it on. Who cares, I’m not in a drought. I’m a smiling Scorpio, THE TAP IS ON! Well needless to say, it was hard to spend 3 weeks away from my partner, especially…….with the tap on. Oh happy joy for the tap being on. Ok, enough of the tap is on, but you know you are jealous cause - my tap is on. We said our goodbyes and gifts were exchanged.
Now you have all heard those stories from airport workers about people’s luggage that buzz so they have to inspect the luggage only to find that 90% of the time it’s an electric toothbrush and of course when I go camping, I actually do pack my electric travel tooth brush.
Now we have all be young at some stage of our lives so we know that traveling in a car on long distances and keeping your fluids up, you need to make those ever so crucial pee stops. Traveling with my 5 year old niece, we slowly made our way up the track as she quickly earned the name of “urinator” (this was given to her by her parents).
On one particular stop after coming close to rolling the car as I punched out one of my rear shocks getting air, miraculously at the bottom of a dip, the following has happened.
We have been traveling on the development road, which was in bad need of a grader. The corrugations were causing all some sort of discomfort, especially those in the 80 series behind Tonka. The radio call comes through, “mummy I need to pee”. Finding a safe spot to pull off we exit the car and wait for my brother-in-law to catch up. My sister was traveling with me at the time and upon exit of Tonka we could hear this noise. It was a moaning noise a bit like what a cow would sound like in labour. Mmmmooooaaaannnn, moan, moan, moan, mmmmooooaaaannnn...... So we did a quick wreckie of the site and couldn’t see anything.
Tim pulls up and the “urinator” marks her territory when I question Tim about the noise, of which now, as there are no cows to be seen, has to be some sort of vibration as a result of all the corrugations coming from my vehicle as I left it idling. We both inspected the vehicle and found nothing loose but the noise was still there. Mmmmooooaaaannnn, moan, moan, moan, mmmmooooaaaannnn..... What could this be? So we open the back of Tonka up and upon closer inspection found the noise to be coming from my space case (dust proof box containing all my food, clothes and spare parts). Mmmmooooaaaannnn, moan, moan, moan, mmmmooooaaaannnn...... Tim goes “it’s coming from your case, its right here in the corner. Do you have something in there?”. Mmmmooooaaaannnn, moan, moan, moan, mmmmooooaaaannnn....... At this point, everyone is close to my car. Quickly my memory returns. Mmmmooooaaaannnn, moan, moan, moan, mmmmooooaaaannnn.......
Now as stated earlier, I am in a new relationship so we are still enjoying the honeymoon period. So the tap is on – if you know what I mean. No water restrictions here. Can turn the tap on when ever I like or just leave it on. Who cares, I’m not in a drought. I’m a smiling Scorpio, THE TAP IS ON! Well needless to say, it was hard to spend 3 weeks away from my partner, especially…….with the tap on. Oh happy joy for the tap being on. Ok, enough of the tap is on, but you know you are jealous cause - my tap is on. We said our goodbyes and gifts were exchanged.
Now you have all heard those stories from airport workers about people’s luggage that buzz so they have to inspect the luggage only to find that 90% of the time it’s an electric toothbrush and of course when I go camping, I actually do pack my electric travel tooth brush.
Normally a Teflon coated person I am, who can hang anything on anyone by being a smart arse, I had nothing….. except for the truth of “oh you don’t want to know”. My brother-in-law, paused, waited for it to sink in and left laughing. Getting back in the car with my sister who couldn’t stop laughing for what seemed a decade, said “why didn’t you just say it was your electric toothbrush”.
This is Kim Duddee reporting from outside of the Territory.
posted by Kim dundee at 3:54 PM
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